An “unfortunate” example
At the initiative of the new employee, who was actively supported by her superiors, the pharmacy took up a new line of business. However, the climate in the team deteriorated sharply. The young girl was practically prevented from working and almost declared a “boycott”.
The reason for this conflict is the imposition by the management of a new style of work and role distribution in the team, which contradicts the already established style of work and role distribution. The former leaders, who had earned their authority and position through years of labor, were relegated to the background. This could not but cause aggressive reactions. Conflicts in the once friendly and prosperous enterprise began to grow like weeds in a vegetable garden.
It is not difficult to realize that in the above example, several reasons led to the conflicts.
- The desire for superiority (in a young newcomer). In most people it is manifested in the following: direct display of superiority; condescending attitude; boasting; desire to show that you are better, know more and can do; categorical (displaying excessive confidence in their rightness); imposing their opinion and advice. This is a dead-end path that leads in the opposite direction from the goal of resolving the conflict and achieving mutual understanding with others.
- The manifestation of selfishness (both in old employees and in the newcomer). In an egoist, self-love is hypertrophied, achieving goals is accomplished at the expense of others. Usually acting selfishly, a person pursues selfish goals, the achievement of some benefits. However, in doing so, he loses much more – his good reputation. Earning the reputation of an egoist, he will lose more in the future than he has gained now.
- Aggressiveness (in older employees). A person with increased aggressiveness is conflictive, is a “walking conflict”, because he/she discharges accumulated irritation on the people around him/her. In other words, he resolves his internal problems at the expense of others.
In addition to natural aggressiveness, conflict often manifests situational – a reaction to the existing difficult situation or to the person who caused it.
“Weed” effect
Conflict between people can be likened to a weed in a vegetable garden: the conflict situation is the root of the weed, while the conflict itself is the part on the surface. And, by analogy with the weed, one should not pull out part of the root. The remaining part will still reproduce the weed (and the conflict).
By cutting off the weed’s haulm, but not touching the root, we will only strengthen its work on pulling nutrients from the soil, so necessary for cultivated plants. And it is harder to find the root after that. It is the same with conflict: by not resolving the conflict situation, we create conditions for the conflict to deepen.
How to properly resolve conflicts
Following the following rules will help you do this:
- Remember that a conflict situation is something that needs to be addressed.
- A conflict situation always comes before a conflict. It is desirable to avoid situations that may lead to conflict.
- Show empathy.
- Formulate the cause of the conflict. The wording should tell you what to do.
- Ask yourself the question, “Why?” until you get to the root cause from which other drivers of conflict stem.
How to behave correctly in a conflict situation
We can recommend a few steps on your part that will help you with this:
- Focus your attention on the conflict and your opponent.
- Show that you understand his emotional state.
- Imagine the situation from your opponent’s point of view (how they feel and perceive).
- Suggest possible solutions.
- Check that he/she understands you correctly (with questions such as: “Am I making myself clear enough? Is there anything that is not clear?”).
- Thank them for their help and willingness to resolve the conflict situation.
Natalia Brinkova, business coach
Shutterstock/FOTODOM UKRAINE photos were used
