He’s got time to work on it!
Why spoil a person’s mood and make him or her do the cleaning? Some parents find it easier to “not notice” the mess than to persuade their child to clean up after themselves. Others prefer not to burden their children with household chores, thinking “he will have time to do it yet!”. This is how the grandmother from “Yeralash”, who repaired her grandson’s scooter, then a bicycle, then… a truck, reasoned: “I’m running, Vitya, I’m running sweetie! To your child, becoming an adult, not to call for help grandma, when it’s time to cook breakfast or vacuum the apartment, teach him that life is not only delicious pies and soccer with friends. It’s also about the word “must.”
Where to start
Between the ages of two and five is the most playful time, when children are eager to imitate adults. So why not take advantage of this and start introducing them to labor? Dusting (preferably on a smooth surface), shining their shoes (preferably not on a light-colored carpet), washing their cup (preferably unbreakable) and even sweeping the floor.
If you have a pet, there’s no better way to teach your child to work than by caring for a pet! When your child cleans the bowl and pours the food into it, the cat’s melodic rumbling or the dog’s appreciative wagging tail will be a great incentive to keep up the good work.
Of course, it will all be a bit clumsy at first. Calmly, perhaps several times, explain and show how to use a cloth so as not to leave streaks on the table, how to hold a broom so as not to raise dust clouds. Be patient when the child is learning to do something, so as not to permanently discourage him from home labor. In time, when the child gets used to household chores, outline the circle of his work, and from now on, let him remember what needs to be done and when.
How many times have I asked you!
There are a dozen phrases that parents most often use to get kids to take on a job: “How many times have I asked you! For the last time! What am I to you, a servant?!” These very phrases, creating a lot of noise, hang a thick dust of discontent in the air of the room that has not been cleaned. The stubborn child continues to sit at the computer, nonchalantly dangling his feet, which pisses you off even more. The child ignores you until you yell at him. This may make the child sweep the floor or do the dishes, but it will not help him to realize the importance of this work and do it next time voluntarily, without waiting for a scandal.
The phrase about the servant is especially worth pondering. Is it really intended for the little sloth? Or do you want to shout at a husband who has outdone the children in the art of shirking housework?
It is dangerous to give ultimatums: “You will stay in your room until you clean it up”. Children’s stubbornness is hard to overestimate. You will be nervous all day, waiting for your child to come out of his confinement and show you how clean he has made it. Not withstanding, late at night, you will look in on him and see that the stubborn and did not think to clean up. He has gone to bed and is sleeping peacefully, sleeping sweetly. He has to go to school tomorrow, which means that your threat was as empty and useless as a spoiled peanut.
Those who like to negotiate with children should refrain from monotonous sulking, borrowed from another American melodrama: “Honey, I would really like you to clean up your room. It sounds boring, and even you get bored when you say it.
What is the right way to run errands
- Firmly, calmly, clearly. Teach your child that chores are as necessary as brushing teeth and school. To ensure that your instructions are carried out, say them in a calm and friendly but firm and non-contradictory tone of voice. The instructions should be as clear as possible. “Clean the room” is too streamlined for a child. He will move the books scattered around the bed to the table and that will be the end of it. He needs to know exactly what you expect him to do: “I want you to put things back where they belong, vacuum and dust.
- Persevere. Never let your child ignore an assignment. If on Saturday afternoon he is scheduled to clean up, and he still does not deign to do it, if your calm reminder, spoken half an hour ago, drowned in a cheerful song from the cartoon, which can not tear himself away from the enchanted child, you have to go to extreme measures. But you don’t have to spank the child and yell at him. Just go to the outlet where the TV is plugged in and say, “You have to clean the room. In five minutes I will turn off the TV and I will only let you watch it when the room is tidy.” A few cartoons, interrupted at the “most interesting place”, and the child will learn well the required order of action: first work, then entertainment.
- Democratic. To make it easier on your little helper when faced with the inexorable need to work, give him a little freedom in choosing his duties. Let him decide whether to vacuum, dust or wash and clean the vegetables.
- Stipulating the time. The time in which the child must complete the task you have given him should be specified at once. Otherwise, he will put things away today and dust tomorrow. And to your “I told you to clean it up!” he will nonchalantly reply: “I was just about to do it”. Never forget to specify: to do it right now, in ten minutes, before dinner.
If a child grows up to be a pussycat
But even these clarifications will not help if your child does everything very slowly. Say, the dust, which can be wiped in 10 minutes, spreads at least half an hour. Then you will have to make an effort to teach your child to be organized. Most importantly, let him or her experience the consequences of tardiness. The child had a long time to get ready for school and, so that he would not be late, Dad had to drop him off in the car? Deduct a tidy sum from the kopusha’s pocket money for the gasoline that had to be spent on this trip, or as punishment, make him clean the bathroom. The next time he wants to lie in bed after the alarm clock rings, he’ll remember the ominous bathroom brush and get up quickly. If, on the other hand, dad drops his child off whenever he risks being late, you’ll never accustom him to punctuality.
Also note that the easiest way to raise an uncoordinated person is to be that person yourself. Researchers at Rhodes College in Memphis have found that toddlers grow up in families where parents are also slow and sluggish. How often have you picked your kid up late from kindergarten, signed the diary at the last minute and forgotten to pay the rent on time? If often, it’s time to work on your own organization. You will have more fun doing it together with your child.
Shutterstock/FOTODOM UKRAINE photos were used
