For the sake of interest, I started a poll on Facebook on the topic “Do you pay your child for school/household help”. It turned out that many do. Journalist Irina Kolos believes that it is necessary to encourage children, though not always financially (you can impressions) and not for every grade, but for global successes – the end of the year without “nines” in the report card. They agree in advance with their children what they would like in exchange for a “high level” in their studies. Philologist Anastasia writes in the comments that in their family they not only encourage good grades (11, 12 points – 10 hryvnias), but also fine for bad grades (8 and below – minus 10 hryvnias). At the end of the week they sum up the “income” and “expenditure” and, if the children have not gone into minus grades, they give them an incentive amount. Some go further and pay for domestic labor: cleaning the house, helping to take care of the little brother, etc. However, Natalia Kucherovskaya, a practicing child psychologist, does not approve of this approach: – Some parents may think that by doing so they are increasing their child’s motivation to participate in household chores. But this is a deep misconception, because they transfer the relations of selfless mutual help, love and friendship, on which family life is based, to a commercial basis. And by this they impoverish the spiritual life of their children. The same principle applies to rewarding children with money for their studies. The child’s experience of the joy of his success in intellectual work is the strongest engine in learning, which will inspire him to success in the future. By replacing the joy of learning with the joy of money bonus, we fundamentally change the motivation of the child – from self-improvement to the acquisition of benefits. And another thing. Before you take out your wallet, think: do not you with the help of money compensate for the lack of your participation in the life of your son or daughter? However, not all psychologists are so categorical. Marina Humenyuk, a lecturer at the Department of General and Medical Psychology and Pedagogy of the Bogomolets National Medical University, makes a reservation: – If a child is motivated and studies well, a cash prize will motivate him or her. But it should be paid not every day, but at the end of the month or quarter. But if your child has problems with his studies, money won’t help. It is better to hire intelligent tutors.
Happiness with three zeros
Usually money in children’s purses appears after the transition from junior high school to high school (now the child pays for his/her own transportation, lunches, spends something at his/her discretion). And then children have access to useless purchases and unhealthy food. In general, the very moment of acquiring something unusually elevates in their own eyes, joins the world of adults, allows you to feel almost the master of life. Buying chips, you can establish relations with popular classmates, with whom before the friendship for some reason did not stick. Or you can pay your desk mate for ten minutes of playing on his cool cell phone.
Contrary to a well-known saying, children consider money to be the equivalent of happiness. This was the result of a survey recently conducted among fifth-graders in the Kiev region. To the question “What does money give a person?” 60% of children named “happiness”, 20% chose “independence and freedom”, 15% – “love and respect of others”, 5% “headache”. – Sometimes parents forget to explain that you can’t buy a relationship, because once you pay for love and respect once, you will have to pay for it again tomorrow,” says Marina Gumenyuk. – Make it a rule to discuss with your child his expenses. Any purchases, as well as books read, are subject to discussion. But if you think that he or she is wasting money, make an effort – explain why, not scold. Otherwise, the child will simply start hiding expenses or stealing.
Personal budgeting from the diaper
“Luckily for Lera, her touchscreen phone was stolen yesterday,” sighs Dima, my son’s classmate. And to a mute question from the others, he explains: “Of course she is lucky! After all, tomorrow she will get an iPhone!” Classmate Lera, a girl from a wealthy family, has lost her third phone in the last year, but every time she gets a new one – even more expensive and advanced. You can’t leave a child without communication! Lera has no problems with communication, unlike her understanding of the value of money and all the benefits it provides.
Nestor from our class has a different kind of sadness. He doesn’t know what to wish for his birthday. At the age of 10, he has an iPhone, iPad, laptop, tablet, and an e-book sitting on his desk, not to mention all sorts of consoles and devices for playing computer games. Parents, encouraging their child with money on and off occasion, risk: a) to form a negligent attitude towards money bills; b) to raise a financially helpless person, dependent on their wallet for life.
Helpful Ideas • Buy the game “Monopoly”, which develops strategic thinking, clearly shows what leads to planned and rash spending. • Give your child a notebook to keep track of expenses and profits. • Take him to his work, let him see that money does not grow on trees, and earned by labor. • To teach to fight back against classmates who consider the measure of intelligence and success peers have an iPhone or the brand of car his dad drives him to school.
Sometimes the attitude towards money of the younger ones does not depend on the wealth of the older ones. Everything depends on the intellectual values of the family. But whatever the level of its income, psychologists recommend that from an early age children should be taught to save and respect money. If a thing can be bought cheaper, say, on a promotion, it is worth waiting for it, looking once in a stock store, counting how much was saved on these purchases and what can now be bought with this money. Give your child a piggy bank, let him save and collect. In this sense, it is worth adopting the American style of upbringing (at least some of its principles). The concepts of “personal budget”, “earn”, “save” are familiar to young Americans from the age of the sandbox. The slogan “All the best for children” is alien to the American mentality. The logic is as follows: if you spend everything on children, you will be left with empty pockets and will be a burden to your children. And if you teach them to earn money from childhood, you will pave the way to Rockefeller’s career. That is why parents themselves become the first employers of their children: walk the dog, mow the lawn in the yard – received financial encouragement. Part-time jobs outside the home are welcome from the age of 13: you can do babysitting, wash cars, work at the pool lifeguard. For an hour of such work a teenager is paid 10-12 dollars. American dad will not report to his child in the piggy bank for the earliest acquisition of a cherished thing: save – will buy himself. Even the loan for higher education parents are often forced to take the children themselves. True, not the entire amount, but part of it. They say it is very useful for financial discipline: when you pay for your studies yourself, you won’t skip school. Why not sell your stuff if it’s in good condition? That’s what little Swedes do: their parents teach them to make posts on second-hand classifieds sites and get rid of tired toys and clothes that are too small for their size. The child realizes that if he or she keeps the item in good condition, he or she will be able to sell it later and use the proceeds the money will buy himself something useful. In Germany, parents educate their children to respect the tax system almost from the time they are young. They give their children pocket money and immediately charge them 20% tax! In Britain, children who are educated and employed, but still live with their parents, pay them a monthly “parental” tax – 10% of their salary. This money is used to pay for utilities and to fill the refrigerator. British adults believe (and with good reason) that the sooner children get used to the idea that their paychecks will have to be spent on more than just themselves, the better for them.
Shutterstock/FOTODOM UKRAINE photos were used
